day four.

i can't believe i'm actually here, on day four. wow. four days without meat or carbs. normally this would've killed me - hell, it killed me today. i had a pissy mood the whole day, i kept getting annoyed, it was really bad. so i hope i get better tomorrow? anyways. i got on the scale this morning; 48.5 kg. then just like, two hours ago; 49 kg. not down a pound at all. and i'm already on day four? so, fuck the meat and rice days. i'm not eating anything for those days, just cabbage soup.

my plan:
only cabbage soup (absolutely no salt in them) for three days. drinks allowed are unsweetened green tea, and water.

salt makes you keep your water weight. so no salt. i've found that using pepper is much better than salt.

after i weighed myself today, and found out that i haven't lost anything at all, i started whining about wanting to eat the pastry i have stored for saturday. just the thought of it... completely mouth-watering. but my mom told me to continue with the diet and finish it. then i burnt myself on scorching hot water. as i went to run my hand under cold water, i just cried all of a sudden. crying about why i was so fat and unsuccessful and.. it wasn't sobbing, just tears. it stopped after a while, i made myself stop. cried a little at school today too. i just feel so helpless. i'd like to think that it's the mood swings as a side effect to this diet. anyways, my mom told me that when she did the csd, it worked for her. she said that in her version, she ate nothing but cabbage soup. no fruit days or veggie days. so i'm following that for three days, to see where it gets me. if i don't get anywhere by saturday, i'm still going to the bbq, then i'll probably do an apple diet or a grapefruit and eggs diet on sunday and monday, then fast on tuesday.